The reason how to beat the ender dragon feels unfair is that the punishing phase arrives before the game has shown you the tell. Here is the tell.
The animation you are reading is usually two frames longer than it feels under pressure. The difficulty spike is real, but it is front-loaded — the back half is calmer than it looks.
The summary
The encounter is built around one punishing phase; prepare specifically for that phase and the rest is manageable.
Recovering a run that started badly
Where a summon or assist exists, using it changes the fight's timing rather than just its difficulty. Every phase has a safe window, and in this one it arrives right after the pattern you most want to dodge. Assume anything automated in the interface has an edge case, because it usually does.
Nothing here depends on luck, though a bad first attempt can certainly feel that way. Greed is what ends most attempts here, not the damage output. Resources spent in the first phase are resources you will badly want later.
What to do when it goes wrong
Attempting to skip a phase with heavy damage works until it does not, and then it fails at the worst point. Reading the attack rather than the health bar is the habit that fixes this fastest. The encounter usually telegraphs everything; the problem is that it telegraphs several things at once. If you are following this with someone else, agree on the plan before starting rather than mid-run.
Guides for how to beat the ender dragon describe an optimal run; what you need first is a survivable one. Learn the tell for the heavy attack first; everything else can be reacted to.
Phase by phase
Where the fight has a second stage, treat the transition as a separate thing to learn. Anything described as guaranteed is worth reading twice before you rely on it. Most guides describe the optimal route, which is harder than the route you actually need.
Attempts made while frustrated are worse than no attempts, and it is worth stopping. A run that reaches the final phase is a successful run, even when it ends there.
Cleaning up the run
Doing this in the wrong order still works, it just costs more time than it needs to. Camera position matters more than movement here, which is unusual and easy to overlook. Trading damage for safety is the correct call while you are still learning the pattern.
- Keep a spare loadout for the attempts that go badly.
- Turn down visual effects if the tells are hard to read.
- Note the exact point where things stop matching the guide.
- Restock consumables before the attempt rather than between them.
- Do one deliberate practice attempt with no intention of winning.
Mistakes worth avoiding
- Retrying immediately without noting what actually killed the last run.
- Spending healing in the first phase because it feels safe to top up.
- Following a guide written for an older version and assuming nothing moved.
Anything else?
Is any of this reversible?
Nearly all of it. Anything that is not is flagged in the steps, and there is normally a safer alternative worth considering first.
Why do other guides say something different?
Most of them describe an earlier version, and a few describe a method that worked once and was never re-tested.
How long should this take?
Most people get through it in one sitting. The first attempt runs long because of reading; the second is much quicker.
Can this be done at a lower level?
Yes, and people do it regularly. It takes longer and leaves less room for mistakes, but nothing about the encounter requires overleveling.
Work through it once properly and how to beat the ender dragon stops being something you need to look up.